I had the opportunity to watch a provocative video yesterday. It was made as a documentary as a message about texting and driving. Here is the complete article. My husband asked why I sat for 35 minutes to watch this heart wrenching video of victims of texting and driving and perpetrators who have caused multiple deaths because of texting and driving. It’s a big problem that we’ve all been hearing about and we all need to be aware. Please don’t text and drive, share this video with others. Take a moment to remember those unfortunate others.
“I thought you don’t like being sad,” My husband said while I sat there on the verge of tears but I was hearing another underlying message, a quieter lesson. What I thought about was, “How does these drivers go about forgiving themselves?” They can’t live on if they don’t feel like they don’t deserve to live. There’s all this cause and effect, consequences, paying for our mistakes, but what do you do when your decisions have caused the ultimate tragic result? You can’t put a price on life. When and how will you ever pay back your debt?
Maybe you think I’m approaching this wrong, that the drivers should die, that their lives should be ruined forever. When you see the guilt and sorrow these people have for what they have done to others, how can you stay mad at them? Haven’t your stupid decisions ever put someone at risk? It’s only that split second that changes it from being you featured as a warning example.
I don’t think I have an answer for the drivers that were texting. I would try to tell them something about grace, about how none of us “deserve” to be alive but how unconditional love truly means unconditional. The lesson I took from this video is, “How am I forgiving myself?” To my knowledge, no one has ever died from my actions. I have gotten to experience guilt when my bad decision gave me brother a concussion. In the right circumstances I could have killed him. How would I have ever been able to live with myself? Face the rest of my family? His friends? My friends?
I’m not a therapist, I’m just working out little things on my own. I think we need to take a look at ourselves about our guilt, unworthiness, and deservedness. This life is a gift, everything we have gotten from it has been a gift, do we really earn what we strive for or do we just show our determination and desire enough so that the Universe kindly grants it to us? Please, love yourself. If you can watch this video and feel pity for people that have destroyed lives maybe you can turn that compassion to yourself.
This video is about learning from others. Learn about the dangers of texting and then learn to forgive yourself. You are a wonderful pure being, whatever your mistakes, your inactions, your faults and shortcomings, you are a beautiful human that will always be loved. Love yourself.
One day I will have a vision painting for every message I want to convey. When I get to self-compassion and forgiveness I will share that. For now, this is the closest I have: My Sacred Garden. It comforts me in that in the guided meditation I got to dwell with God. I see the fireflies in the jar and they are as significant as the stars and I get to be between the two. You and I are part of something so much bigger. I think a basic way see our purpose is that we are to be a reflection of the unconditional love that the Universe/Source/God shines down on us but it’s so massive and so infinite our little hearts can only comprehend it in limited ways and we can only give it back in our limited abilities. It’s like how the sun shines on other objects. Shine it on a reflective surface and you see it as “only” a blinding light, shine it on black and black “only” gets hot, shine it on a grassy turf and it “only” photosynthesizes. How can you reflect love if you hide from it yourself? “What if outside sources are preventing me from receiving love?” Are you asking that? Do you mean, like what if it’s a cloudy day? Just because the clouds are there doesn’t mean the sun isn’t.
I went for a walk after watching the texting and driving video and I had an amazing sunset – in clouds. I thought to myself, “God shows us He loves us with this amazing world He has provided.” Do you want to experience love? Just go outside! It’s all there for You. Do you want to understand it better? Pay attention to the different ways others reflect it back to you. So, I guess once you can forgive yourself and find the love that is available to you then this painting can apply: